Offbeat Offenses
Thrifty recession shopping
By John Zaharick

Nov. 20, 2008

The economy may be rough, but not everything is a necessity, as was the case with the following reports from Pennsylvania State Police in Carlisle.

A Carlisle woman was charged with retail theft after she tried to take jewelry from a KOHLS department store on Sept. 9. According to state police in Carlisle, the woman selected two shirts and five pieces of sterling silver jewelry and then entered a fitting room in the intimate apparel department at 6:30 p.m.

The shoplifter removed peace sign earrings and a peace necklace from the plastic and put them on herself. She concealed three other pieces of jewelry in her large flowered purse before exiting the fitting room. At that time she was taken into custody.

The ideal is free love, not free merchandise, and KOHLS probably isn’t the place to practice the commune spirit.

But maybe her mistake was trying to hide the items. An unidentified man robbed the same store a month later on Oct. 11 when he took a Kitchen Aide Mixer and a vacuum cleaner without getting caught. Police described him as being white, 6 feet tall, and wearing a blue t-shirt, white cargo pants and a black hat. He drove off in a tan Buick or Licoln Sedan. Anyone with information, such as a shifty neighbor with a suddenly clean carpet and new found baking affinity, can call state police in Carlisle at 249-2121.

Giving KOHLS a break, a Carlisle man tried to smuggle out of Kmart a toy helicopter and a pack of AA batteries, totaling $36.48, in his sweatshirt on Oct. 14. Thus we see the consequences of Santa’s elves unionizing and Mr. Claus having to procure toys through more nefarious methods.

While he was caught, another gentlemen, clearly just wanting to feed his family, managed to acquire a free bottle of orange flavored vodka at a South Middleton Township wine and spirits shop on Oct. 10. He fled out of the store without paying and headed towards Carlisle. According to police, the black male, approximately 5 feet 10 inches, weighing 160 pounds and wearing a gray hooded sweatshirt and dark blue jeans, was caught on film. If you want to be famous, Youtube is a much more legitimate route than liquor store footage.

Some more complicated incidents were reported by the state police in York

A Codorus man reported his Kenmore Washer and Dryer stolen on Oct. 12. He had left both in his driveway with a “for sale” sign displayed. A witness watched as a young white male approached the house and knocked on the front door. After no one answered, a green van backed up the driveway and the washer and dryer were loaded inside. The “for sale” sign was left in the front door along with $20. The value of both appliances was reported to be $100. Apparently the honor system isn’t the best way to run a yard sale.

Finally, in an example of testing luck and losing, two York Haven men were charged with burglary, theft and criminal trespass when they were caught robbing the same store twice. The pair stole vehicle parts from a Warrington Township auto part stores on Sept. 29 and sold them to a scrap yard in Harrisburg.

They returned to the store on Oct. 1 and took 25 alternators from a trailer, placing the merchandise in the bed of their pickup truck. The theft may have gone as planned had the store owner’s son not stopped them. Seems he had been watching the area due to a previous burglary. You think the pair would have been smart enough to expect increased security, but then again, if they were that smart they probably wouldn’t have been looting in the first place.