A Lighter View
My fellow Dillsburgians
By K.E.H. Stagg

Dec. 31, 2009

As the new year rolls in and thousands of Dillsburg area residents make resolutions to lose weight, save money or whatever else they hope to achieve in 2010, I also am resolved to make some changes in my life:

I will not use the terms “twitly,” “eedjit” or “moroon” to describe motorists around me, even when they turn right from the far left lane, or make sudden lane changes without benefit of a turn indicator.

I will continue to bargain shop, patronizing as many local businesses as possible.

I will not use my cell phone while driving. Anyone who needs to reach me that urgently can leave a message...and it better be that they’re holding a check with lots of zeros before the decimal point!

I will exercise my right to my personal beliefs, whether anyone else agrees with me or not. America is meant to run according to democratic principles, not popularity contests.

I will not complain about my work situation. It could be much, much worse. Ask anyone who survived the Soviet gulags or civil war in Sierra Leone.

I will read books, stretching my imagination while learning information at the same time. This will prove most enjoyable if the books are humorous yet mysterious historical novels.

I will not succumb to the temptation to “super-size” any meal, no matter how good the price. Instead, I will think of what the large fries and biggie drink look like as cellulite and downsize my order to a kiddie portion.

I will travel to new places and meet new people, even if that means just crossing the border into Adams County.

I will not take movie recommendations from people who watched the TV version, or didn’t watch the whole thing, thereby decreasing the likelihood that I’ll waste money on something I don’t want to watch.

I will try to learn to crochet or knit, whichever is least confusing to me. This will allow me to surprise my friends next year with handmade gifts that they’ll be forced to figure out what they’re supposed to be.

I will not be on the roads on New Year’s Eve, navigating around loonies who drink and drive.

I will be indoors, sitting by a roaring fire, madly finishing the 1500-piece puzzle I got for Christmas.

Whatever your resolutions, stay safe!